Funnbee

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this and they have been plotting their usurpation of humanity for hundreds of years. Here, we present the definitive photographic proof, so there can no longer be any doubt in your mind that cats are evil and plan world domination.

“In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.”-English Proverb

Another secretly taken photographic shows one of the High Commanders of CATLIT being guarded by her group of Secret Service Felines. Do not be fooled by the restive and laid back air of this apparently harmless grouping. This group of blood thirsty murderers had recently viciously (and without provocation) attacked and devoured three mice, two gerbils and a sparrow. The heartless cads.

“Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.”-Unknown

A rare photo of the Black Ninja Assassin Sect – last located in down town Tokyo but who have recently disappeared, leading Intelligence to believe that a full scale cat attack is imminent. Look at the pitiless eyes, the cold killer stares and admit to yourself there is reason to worry.

” God made the cat in order that humankind might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger.”-Fernand Mery

The dispassionate stare of a seasoned killer. This is one of the leaders of the, until recently, secret cabal of feline pirates. Walter, named after a certain Mr Raleigh of Elizabethan pirating fame, is close to the top of the CATLIT hierarchy and it will be his mission, when the attack comes, to spread confusion and chaos among humanity. If you own a cat and think it may be part of the Pirate Cabal, listen closely when he is sleeping. If, instead of going “purrrrr” your cat instead emits an “Arrrrr” noise, then your worst fears will be confirmed.

The youth wing of KITCAT must be taken seriously, perhaps even more than their full grown counterparts because it is among the kitten population that true fanaticism exists. Trained as expert snipers, these kittens regularly take pot shots as dogs as they are walked, showing true disregard for the equality of species as laid down by the Aquaviva Convention. If you own a dog and the poor things yelp suddenly for no apparent reason whilst being walked then you can be sure that a member of the youth wing of KITCAT is sniggering on a window ledge nearby.

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.”-Mary Bly

Cats have no fear of exploiting new technology in their war against us. In fact, they are encouraged from kitten hood to immerse themselves in the internet. Several humans of middle eastern origin have recently been jailed for researching bomb making on the internet. Professing their innocence strongly, little did they know that they were the unwitting dupes of the feline super villains they once called “Mr Tibbles” and “Angel Princess”. If you think your cat is simply entranced by your fish tank screen saver, think again. While you are in the kitchen opening the latest can of de-luxe Tuna chunks (and beware, cats much prefer dolphin, by their own admission), young Atticus the Catticus is plotting the next outrage.

“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.”=-Anonymous

Another member of the youth arm of KITKAT tries to fool its unwitting human “owner” in to thinking it is just a super cute ball of fur. However, every now and again their guard goes down and their true nature can be relieved. Look at the insatiable thirst for power in the eyes of this villain and shudder! This is the true face of evil.

In order to effect world domination, KITKAT have been pursuing rigorous physical training, sometimes involving highly elaborate military training grounds, tucked away in the back gardens of their human “owners” and masquerading as harmless garden furniture. Here a member of KIKTAT trains secretly, unaware that he has been caught on film by another one of our undercover agents. We must act now to extinguish this feline threat before it is too late! Today, the back garden, tomorrow your rugs, settees and Wedgwood china!

Another great photo opportunity, or so the hapless “owner” of this elite band of trained assassins believes. As the day of the master plan draws near, many cats are becoming lackadaisical about whether or not their future slaves see them in their training routines. Notice the cat in the bottom right hand corner, carefully taking in whether or not his training has worked or not. This offhand attitude only goes to show the dismissive attitude that cats have towards us and what little regard they have for us.

“I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted–but his or her entertainment value.”-Geoffrey Household

Caught in a moment of distraction, this cat is all the proof that is needed to show that the feline species has been quietly interbreeding with an unknown alien race who can levitate and that skill is being passed down the generations. While this phenomenon is still rare, it seems to be on the increase and can be traced back to around the same point in time as the high speed digital camera. However, when all cats have this ability they will strike and humanity will be reduced to a subjugated role while the cats live a life of irresponsibility and decadent and degenerate sexual partnering.

“Cats spit on their hands and rub it all over their bodies.”-Unknown

Cats will stoop to anything in their unquenchable thirst for power and here is all you need to see to realize that they have been purveying kitty porn for decades in the guise of cute pictures which their “owners” then frame and show off to guests and friends. In fact, this cat is performing an unspeakable act on itself which would shock and horrify you were it to be named. So perverse if the act that you would probably have to look it up in a dictionary.

After all of this evidence, do you need any further proof that cats are evil and plan to take over the world? Run, run and tell you and don’t look back!