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I'm fascinated with sexual relationships and their mysterious ways. I'm not the only one who's trying to make sense of it: the scientific community is at an impasse, or maybe I should say, they're stuck in the gray, unclear as to what modulates erectile dysfunction and difficulty with sexual arousal. Is it physiologically or psychologically triggered? Or, is it both, together? What is it the root cause of sexual malfunction? I believe there are a confluence of factors involved.

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Why Can't Guys Get Hard Sometimes? 9 Reasons Why Men Can't Get It Up

Can't Get An Erection The First Time With A New Partner?

Most of us are raised to believe that men are ravenous sex-beasts, eternally horny and only pretending to be a part of polite society so that they can find some new crevice to jam their Jeremy Irons into. So the first time we cross paths and genitals with a guy who can't get an erection, many of us immediately panic and assume that the problem must be us. We must be profoundly unsexy. After all, what could else possibly stop these hormone-addled maniacs from getting an erection?
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'I have trouble getting an erection. I'm scared my girlfriend will leave me'

Alcohol can act as an aphrodisiac and calm the nerves on those first few dates, but it can also be bad news for erections. So can recreational drugs and some forms of medication. Diabetes can also be a cause of ED, as can prostate gland surgery. Psychological causes include depression, stress and anxiety. Men sometimes worry about getting a new sexual partner pregnant so do make sure you mention contraception.
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This started happening to me a couple of years ago when I first wrote this article , and it proved to be a very frustrating and embarrassing problem. Everything always seems to go fine at first. Usually, I take someone on a couple of dates at least before we end up back at my place or hers. But then when this happens, I definitely do get stressed. I accepted that it might happen, and decided the best thing to do is to talk about it openly in advance.
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